The premise of John Pasquin's 1994 comedy film, "The Santa Clause," is darker than the movie's PG rating might lead one to believe. Tim Allen plays a shiftless, no-good dad named Scott Calvin, perhaps named after the 16th-century philosopher John Calvin who espoused a belief in Christian predetermination. Scott Calvin, on Christmas Eve, hears someone shuffling around on his roof. He goes outside to investigate and startles the interloper, causing them to fall to their death. Calvin finds that the interloper was Santa Claus … the actual Santa Claus. Scott Calvin may be the only Disney hero who has killed Santa, unless there are dark things I cannot recall about Eeyore.
Calvin, instructed by Santa's business card, dons Santa's red suit and takes control of his sleigh, having to complete the big man's Christmas delivery in his stead. At the end of the night, he returns Santa's gear to the North Pole, only to face off against the workshop's most intense elf, Bernard (David Krumholtz). Bernard explains that — thanks to the Santa Clause from the movie's title — when Calvin put on the red suit, he committed himself to serving as Santa indefinitely. Over the course of the film, Calvin grows a beard, a gut, and Santa-like superpowers. Disappointingly, "The Santa Clause" is not a Cronenbergian horror film about bodily alteration. The lesson here, kids, is that if you want to be a magical, helpful folk elf, be sure to kill Santa.
Krumholtz is one of those eternally dazzling actors who brings a wry wit to all of his projects. He began acting as a teenager, having played a notable role in "Addams Family Values" in 1993. His filmography has been explosive ever since.
The Ed Asner Of The North Pole
The release of the new TV series "The Santa Clauses," now airing on Disney+, saw David Krumholtz return to the role of Bernard, his wit fully intact. The series sees Calvin/Santa, now rounding 65, slowing down in his Christmas duties. Evidently, raising two teenage children is difficult, even for Kris Kringle. Some of Santa's helper elves are too timid and innocent to point out that the big man is fouling up yuletide, allowing the far more direct and far less patient Bernard to step in.
In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, Krumholtz admitted that he adores that aspect of Bernard. In a gentle world of Christmas images and Santa Clauses, Barnard is the practical, annoyed, business-oriented character. Bernard is a put-upon mid-manager in a vast corporate retail enterprise, which merely happens to be the workshop at the North Pole. Of Bernard, Krumholtz said:
"Anything could go wrong at any moment, but he gets things done with an iron fist […] He's like the Ed Asner of the North Pole. He's a tough guy. It's fun to play that kind of stuff. It was a new take on the whole elf thing at the time. Even Will Ferrell's Buddy the Elf [from the 2003 film "Elf"] is a lot more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in comparison. Bernard is more of an old soul."
Ed Asner, it should be noted, played Santa Claus in Jon Favreau's 2003 Christmas comedy, "Elf." Asner, of course, is very good at playing stone-faced, put-upon characters himself, so it's fitting that Krumholtz should look to him as inspiration.
The Gorgeous Timelessness Of David Krumholtz
One of the central conceits of "The Santa Clause" is that Santa's elves are actually a non-homo-sapiens humanoid species that is incredibly long-lived. In the 1994 film, David Krumholtz was 16 years old, but Bernard was almost 1,600 years old. Unlike Bernard, however, Krumholtz ages like an actual human being. Luckily, rather than coat the actor in unappealing de-aging technology, the writers thought of a clever conceit to make an near-immortal appear to be 44.
In an exclusive clip on the EW website, Bernard explains that elves, like Mennonites, can leave the elven cloister of the North Pole and go on Kribble-Krabble, their version of a Rumspringa. Rumspringa is an adolescent rite of passage in the Amish community, where teens are allowed to leave for as long as they like in order to experience all the vices of the outside world. No one, they believe, should be inducted into the church as a child, and teens are given ample opportunity to choose their future (I recommend the 2002 documentary "The Devil's Playground," which is all about this subject). Bernard, explains that when he was on his Kribble-Krabble, he met a human that he fell in love with. In order to pursue a relationship, he gave up his eternal youth, and is now enjoying the glories of middle-age spread.
The irony of the gag is that Krumholtz looks amazing, even while wearing his elf getup. Anecdotally, Krumholtz was a major crush object for many of this author's peers, and his appeal needn't be explained. His charm and humor are just as dazzling as they have always been. He lends a good deal of humanity to a lightweight puffball entertainment like "The Santa Clause," and we're lucky to have him.
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