This article contains major spoilers for "The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special."
It's difficult to imagine any Christmas gift from Marvel Studios ever topping the glorious Rogers: The Musical Broadway number from "Hawkeye," but "The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special" comes very close. Going with the Guardians for an amusing little holiday one-off makes the most sense, given that they're the most compelling family in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. A group of outcasts who come together from all corners of the cosmos to support one another are the perfect fodder for something cute like this, especially with one of their own feeling a bit dour.
Seeing as how Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) lost his mother at a young age, learned that his biological father (Kurt Russell) was a planetary genocidal maniac, lost his flawed yet loving adoptive father (Michael Rooker), was partly responsible for the Blip, and had to say goodbye to the love of his life (Zoe Saldaña), it's safe to say that Star-Lord's going through it. So fellow Guardians Mantis (Pom Klementieff) and Drax (Dave Bautista) make the decision to cheer him up with the ultimate Christmas present in the form of Kevin Bacon, Earth's greatest (fictional) hero.
Pulling off a gag like the Guardians kidnapping Bacon as a Christmas gift is just as hilarious as you think it would be. This isn't Bacon's first rodeo with James Gunn, as he previously worked with him on the mean-spirited superhero flick "Super." And even when the "Slither" filmmaker just lets his characters make fun of him, you can tell the "Stir of Echoes" star is just having an absolute blast.
Holiday Kidnapping
Ever since the first "Guardians of the Galaxy," Bacon has been upheld as a screen hero for Quill, who spins the story of "Footloose" into a tale of galaxy-spanning bravery. I love how Mantis and Drax take Quill's account as historical fact, and promptly rush down to Earth to collect their yuletide bounty. After posing for pictures and having a grand time at a gay bar, the pair finally arrive at the actor's lavish Beverly Hills home. When he doesn't let them in, they naturally take it as an invitation to hop (or be thrown) over the fence.
This may be a holiday special, but in the eyes of Bacon's character, it's a horror movie. The only thing that keeps it from being overtly terrifying is the bouncy Christmas music that underscores the kidnapping. Gunn all but confirms this when Bacon looks over his shoulder to see a snarling Mantis hopping around the house like a ravenous creature that wants to rip him to shreds. He has every right to be terrified. Meanwhile, I'm laughing at Mantis and Drax's lovable inability to read the room.
They break into Bacon's home, intercept a swath of cops, and raid a Christmas store, before taking their Hollywood gift to Quill. But it's on the way back to Knowhere, in which Bacon gets loose with Drax and Mantis.
'We Hate You'
The holiday special gives Mantis more opportunities to use her signature trance than ever before, which comes in handy when Bacon doesn't want to come quietly. One of the greatest things about the Guardians is even when they're going against conventional manners or tactics, they still feel so wholesome. We eventually get to see Bacon's actual reaction to all of this once Quill demands Mantis to free his mind, but under her power, he acts like someone who was given the good stuff after getting out of surgery.
Bacon plays less of an exaggerated version of himself, and more of a loopy one. He's just trying to catch up with his intergalactic predicament. The truth comes out that Bacon isn't the stuff of legends at all. In probably the funniest section of the special, Mantis and Drax go off on actors, calling them repugnant and disgusting. Bacon is just so out of it that he plays along with the pair, even when he believes he should probably be offended by the whole thing.
Mantis and Drax's plan is even funnier when you realize they know what actors are, and yet never once realize they visited the city that serves as one of the profession's central hubs. I find it hysterical how Drax plainly tells Bacon "we hate you" with such antipathy in his voice.
All's Bacon That Ends Bacon
A large portion of MCU projects involve their heroes searching for some sort of Macguffin that keeps them busy, which makes it even more hilarious that Gunn molds Bacon into that very trope. The holiday special is largely Mantis' journey, and the "Death Sentence" star is pretty much along for the ride. Even Quill himself, despite inadvertently being the reason for the festive mission, takes a backseat for most of it. Thankfully, the person he breaks out of Mantis' trance this time doesn't possess the power to wipe out half of the universe.
Between David Hasselhoff and Bacon, Quill doesn't have the best track record when it comes to facing his childhood heroes.
By all accounts, Bacon's character should rightfully be terrified, angry, and confused. In the spirit of the season, however, through Kraglin (Sean Gunn), he comes to understand just how much he means to Quill. It's an endearing moment for Bacon, as he learns that not only are his movies held in high regard across the stars, but that one of them was the catalyst for saving an entire galaxy.
Something about Bacon in a festive Holiday sweater singing Christmas tunes with alien versions of the Old '97's, all while trapped inside of the head of a dead Celestial, just feels right to me. In a world that constantly unveils lovable actors as anything but in their personal lives, it just goes to show that Bacon is the intergalactic exception to the rule. Not all actors are pieces of s***, indeed.
"The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special" is currently streaming on Disney+.
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