Fans have been waiting to see The New Mutants since 2018, and as we’ve all heard in the same joke over and over again, they might as well be called The Old Mutants. But that’s the quality of joke that The New Mutants is worthy of since it’s a totally lifeless limp to the end of the finish line for the X-Men franchise. In fact, as The New Mutants Honest Trailer so succinctly puts it, you’ll wish the movie was called The Suicide Squad.

The New Mutants Honest Trailer

Barely any superpowers are used in this story that unfolds in an empty, off-brand, mutant-teaching hospital. Well, at least until a smokey demon bear shows up to finally force something to happen. It’s okay though, because the character’s name is Demon Bear, and he’s from Marvel Comics, and you probably won’t have to worry about him for a long time.

This was supposed to be a horror movie featuring X-Men-style characters, but the horror doesn’t go beyond PG-13 and steals “scares” from movies that have already done it far better. Seriously, the movie would have been better if it just featured the cast watching Buffy the Vampire the Slayer all the time. They already watch it in the movie, so just sit the camera in front of the TV and let Sarah Michelle Gellar do all the heavy lifting.

Seriously, I can’t believe this is how the X-Men franchise is coming to an end. As the Honest Trailer says, it feels like an extended pilot for a superhero series that The CW passed on, and that’s being nice. Now we just have to wait and see what Kevin Feige does with mutants.

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